Marketing Vitamins, Candy, and Painkillers

Humans are complicated. We are emotional creatures who think we are not. It makes us predictably unpredictable to a fault.

Have you ever said “That was a weird decision. What were they thinking?!”

The answer is they weren’t. At least not thinking with their rational brain — instead their instinct, lizard brain, or basal ganglia overruled logic to come to that questionable conclusion.

The Three Predictable Buying Drivers

There is a colloquial formula in marketing messaging that points to three main reasons a person may want or need to buy:

  1. To solve a current problem

  2. To improve or enhance a future state

  3. For self-fulfillment or joy

There are millions of nuanced reasons for their actual decision, but this simplified formula is a good foundation for figuring out why someone may need to buy your product.

Here is where it gets confusing. One person may see a category or service as a problem solver while others may see it as an enhancement. You must know your customer and product to figure out what set of messaging goes with whom.

Have a headache, reach for a Painkiller

The most recognizable buying driver and marketing message is the ‘Painkiller.’ This is your problem-solver formula.

“You have X problem. Our product will solve it - and fast!"

Painkiller tends to be wrapped around a feeling of impending doom. Like that headache that is getting worse by the minute. If you have a headache, reach for a Tylenol, Motrin, or Aleve.

Most people know when they have a ‘headache’ type problem. They are struggling with their current financial situation, their car broke down, and their computer is frozen because the software your company uses is 14 years old.

You think. If I don’t solve this problem then my sanity, job, life, and financial livelihood are on the line.

Hence, the marketing formula is to first repeat their problem. Then, affirm what they are feeling. And then present the solution with a sense of urgency.

The Classic Painkiller

Struggling with your bills? Worried about making ends meet today. You don’t have to stress anymore. Just take out a Cash Pawn loan today. It just takes 60 seconds online and the cash is yours in 24 hours.

I had a question from a client about whether a painkiller would turn a potential buyer off. The answer: no, not for the right buyer.

The painkiller formula builds empathy. It makes the buyer feel seen and heard. Just knowing they aren’t alone and there is ‘something’ out there can bring hope.

Even if it is a fictional Cash Pawn loan — which though imaginary — already seems predatory.

Improve your Performance with a Vitamin

Vitamins are the middle ground between doom and ecstasy. It’s the promise of doing better with little effort. It’s the performance-enhancing, newest, fastest, Ai-empowered, and benefit-filled message that will change your life…or, get you a slightly better CRM with built-in invoicing.

Vitamins are generally for products or services that aren’t 100% necessary but make incremental improvements to day-to-day life.

Many B2B messages are vitamins. Your company likely already has something now, but maybe you are ready to upgrade. Or, you see your competition excelling and want a competitive edge.

Vitamins can also be enhancements of painkillers. A painkiller could be the base product, but a vitamin is the slighter nicer version. A good deal on a used Toyota Corolla could be a painkiller for getting to work on time while a new Toyota Rav4 is a vitamin because it is comfy, can fit all your kids’ stuff, and has good gas mileage.

The key to selling vitamins is the ‘advantage’ formula. It is always ‘easy’ to achieve a future state with a key feature that only exists with your product. The vitamin statement is like whispering a trade secret to someone to give them an advantage over others in their category.

The Vitamin

Speed past the competition with the most advanced CRM on the market. Make decisions faster with our new AI-powered tool that predicts customer activities before they happen. You are just one click away from doubling your revenue with ACME’s new POWER CRM.

Vitamin customers are ambitious. They want better. Their problems aren’t lethal, but they could always do better. Get more with less effort is their mantra.

I want Candy

Candy is a fun way to market. Albeit in B2B professional services candy isn’t a common formula to use. I mean I guess some people may get excited about accounting services just for fun — but, most of these buying decisions aren’t motivated by candy.

Marketing candy is about personal gratification. It’s that moment of joy, fun, recognition, and stick your finger up to the world moment in time.

Back to our car analogy. You have the Rav4. It’s a great family car. But, your kids are grown and you’ve been doing well at work. Why not show the world how successful you are by buying a Porsche? Imagine how jealous your neighbor Bob will be when you drive past his house.

The candy message has a formula like the others. It tends to skew towards ‘envy.’ Envy is a powerful emotion. We covet what we can’t have. We want what we know isn’t essential. Envy and its cousin FOMO (fear of missing out) sometimes trigger a twinge of guilt. The candy formula understands that so it is wrapped subtly with an affirming message like ‘you’ve earned it,’ ‘you deserve it,’ or simply ‘you only live once.’

Candy messages are designed to make us feel good. To motivate us to push back those rational thoughts and go for something just a bit too sweet. It’s the small pleasure in a busy life. And, it can be used at any budget.

The Candy Message

Childhood goes so fast. Take your family on a vacation that they’ll always remember. At Acme Resorts, our suites cater to active families who want more out of their time together. Come and join us today for the ultimate vacation experience.

Acme resorts could be high-end, mid, or low. Either way, taking a vacation is nice to have but isn’t as essential as getting medical care or paying your mortgage. Hence, the candy message drives the buyer to the conclusion that taking the vacation is a ‘must have’ because ‘you are doing it for your children.’ Hence, relieving that guilt when you pop down $10K for some waterslides.

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Life doesn’t always give you lemons. Sometimes you can get lemon-flavored Gatorade or lemon drops. Which ever type of product you are selling, these marketing formulas should work 90% of the time.

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